I love the feel-good spirit of Christmas, but I also realize it’s an important time of year for commerce. In fact, Santa’s Workshop is a business. A huge amount of goods must be manufactured and shipped out the door within a very tight deadline. If Santa can’t summon the appropriate leadership and presentation skills to rally his troops under such strenuous circumstances, the whole operation could fall apart.
Having recently consulted with Old Saint Nick, it is my honor to now share with you, in poetic fashion, exactly how his communication dilemma played out.
It’s that oh-so-jolly time of year,
Filled with merry Christmas cheer,
But all the elves are bored and mad,
‘Cause Santa’s presentations are so damn bad.
He called the team into his grotto,
To share his same old washed-out motto,
“We make it all, from book to phone,”
He uttered in a monotone.
Many elves began to hide,
As Santa clicked through slide after slide,
Reading the same script he did each season,
Committing the crime of PowerPoint treason.
“Enough!” the elves were forced to yell,
As Santa took them to clipart hell,
“We understand your point of view,
But what the heck do you want us to do?”
With orders arriving from around the globe,
Santa knew he had to probe,
“How can we keep up with all this traction
If I can’t inspire my elves to action?”
As he tossed and turned in his bed,
Visions of failure entered his head,
He saw tears in the eyes of every child,
And a sign on the shop reading “Bankruptcy Filed.”
He vowed to steer clear of complex charts,
To tear up his script and speak from the heart,
He started to focus on conveying emotion,
And threw his projector into the Arctic Ocean.
He huddled together the elves once again,
And fought his temptation to spout acronyms,
He shared stories instead of fact upon fact,
And charmed his team with great eye contact.
For the first time ever the elves were moved,
By Santa’s tales of the lives he’d improved,
They sprung from their seats and ran to the shop,
Ready to churn out iPhones nonstop.
As the presents formed a massive pile,
Santa couldn’t help but smile,
At the prosperous path his changes had paved,
And another Christmas holiday saved.
Happy Holidays to you, and please remember to make all your presentations in 2015 considerably less cheesy than this post.